the pLague

2006-12-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again

nnb ready to stop yet?

fcukd up
half fcuk

my life the sine curve.

everytime
just when i thought
kann!
jus gimme a 'lil something to hang on to?

da pai
sian
fcuk

even in madness... (i'm starting to doubt so)
thoughts unclear u can never hide

ahh screww.
my bad?

but sorry no.
u'd have to kill me to stop me.

i dare you to.
fcuk.

2006-11-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

i never really thought i'd write about this again
not this soon anw
or even to resuscitate this blog
but anw
now that's its here to serve my purpose...

its funny in honesty
how when i just re-read tt september entry
i feel almost as if it were today
maybe not exactly
but in essence

not a case of self-doubt no
in fact i dun worry much bout meself
i'm more than capable of getting up all on my own
without others to pick me up
the diff is though
it sure is a lot better when i dun do all this myself
when ppl might or could actually care enough
but no i'm not asking for more
i can't be more thankful really for all this now and what had been
its just a thought i tink i'm no less than entitled to muse and entertain

i understand it all la
it just kinda grinds on me sometimes these things happen
and wat timing too

i should have known la
it can't be all sugar spice everything nice
not as if i hadn't been forewarned
i was even just pondering abt it the other day!
so much from learn from the past?

but anw
its just one of those things
forgiven and perhaps sometime to be forgotten
God just tell me i'm doing alright

on a separate note,
as i'd always asserted
watever the situation
i look inwards first
and tt time really i had nothing of note tt i thought i had done too wrongly
so nothing doing?!
but everything happens for a reason right?
i can stomach tt sure
i jus cna't help but peeringly glance at
the could haves or might have beens
no matter now anw

when will my time come?
will u answer me?
pLs?

2006-11-28T12:23:00.000+08:00

i got my life back.

tell me quando quando quando.

2006-09-07T18:54:00.000+08:00

am i really expecting too much/

i have no qualms about giving my all for whatever i believe in, but sometimes the tricky part comes when those things don't seem to be quite what i expected out of them.

i really treasure the friendships tt i've made. i guess part of this attitude comes from my heritage, and i cannot be more proud of that. part of it also comes from my own personality. tt's just how i am. i fully commit myself with these wonderful people i've come across, but sometimes that is a double-edged sword which somewhat baffles me.

is that really all you think of me after all this time/
either i have very poor judgement, or am naive, or just plain wrong.

i do all within my means and reasoning for these guys, and yet sometimes tt fails me.
somehow there always seem to be some catch somewhere.

maybe people still don't know me
people still aren't understanding what this person is all about
i still can't figure out how to deal with all these

somehow i feel after all i have to offer i dun seem to be satisfied
because how come no one does that to me

i think i've done it all
and yes we may be 'tight' and all
but when u ask yourself the qn
whether u have been there for me
when i was most vulnerable
when i needed someone just to be there
when i am around
can u truly answer me and say yes?

i hope i'm not thinking too highly of myself
but i really ain't got no love coming to me

hopefully its just the case of me looking at all the wrong places

hopefully.

2006-07-20T17:20:00.000+08:00

this is my space...

wtf mustafa.

haha

stay away i know silat

of saudis, 4 wives, ninjas, kung-fu and pratay

-world peace!

2006-07-20T17:16:00.000+08:00

i totally hated it

not quite what i expected

no wayy off what i imagined

so much for e 'plans'

pls dun take my commitment for granted

cos i have half the mind to give this all up right now

i dun feel it anymore

i guess some things just wont change

i want to study now.

2006-07-11T17:39:00.000+08:00

forza italia!

way to go italy.
cannavaro
buffon
pirlo

wat a travesty
with all due respect
for all his great contributions to the sport
i feel dear Zizou should not have been the recipient of the Adidas Golden Ball award
rather i'd elect for the immense Fabio Cannavaro as the rightful owner of that honour for this tournament.
he has been absolutely magnificent throughout all 7 games italy have played
zidane was good for at best 3 matches

yes indeed i may have a slight slant towards italy
i had backed them to win
ever since they won me over by their consolidatory performances as the tournament matured
deserved winners might i add
yet in all rationality
anyone who has watched the world cup at large
would not have missed the shining displays of the Azzuri capitan
while it is more likely zidane's presencce would have been more easily passed by
remember he was nowhere to be seen in the group stages
and only for a handful of eye-catching moments did he win they award
wat a travesty

i guess the romance of the whole zidane affair has caught up with the members of the media who cast the votes for the award
his last tournament before retiring from the game
his last match
his last everything
so it would be nice for him to get something?
well i beg to differ
i feel the sterling displays of cannavaro warrant far better rewards than second to zidane

yes zidane is immense
a masterful player
one of the best players alive
a true legend
and after the raging-bull charge he executed on monday morn
he perhaps will be remembered for more than he bargained for
yet it is this only reinforces my stand that cannavaro is the BEST player of the tournament

i guess the tarnished image of that scene on finale night
spilled over to the award presentation

perhaps it would be a slight consolation
that there certainly are those who vehemently know the right man did not get it
but anyhow
it has been a nice little world cup

now to the premier league

2006-06-11T16:35:00.000+08:00

Kiki's party:
a formal affair...

it took us eons to get to her house.
it was really complicated. change bus here and there. after e reservoir turn right then got this and that then press the bell then walk up the hill... then we walked into e wrong place summore. haha

anw ya so the party
came as a real stunner she was leaving e country for canada.
and tt e party is sort of a farewell too?
yeah well had lots of crazy picture taking sessions
the guys were well,
let's just say very enthusiastic about each other's company?

anw had mass dance in e small dark function room after xiao an's performace and the video and claudio finally sorting out his dJ thingy
fun while it lasted while e rest of e guests looked on

daryl had a real crazy rapunzel joke
tt we won't forget in a while
left us in stiches and blushed

when we caabbed to darcy's
darcy was really funny in trying to get e driver to go faster
"voom voom"
"uncle rev it upp c'mon"
"aiyoh paisehh cannot lose to tt bus!"
haha lots of crap
i tink it was us who gave e cabbie a ride!

e match
disappointing at e least
as with tt sweden match

i want pics of kiki's party.
______________

i tink some ppL just have to sit up and realise tt not everything they think or feel or tell ppl to do is the one to go.
just because they say it doesnt mean we have follow
no no
i have my stand
my own personal measured judgement
and i tink it would do ppl well to respect whatever the other has to offer
and not keep imposing their views on other ppl
u are not my God
so hell will i ever listen
i have my liberty
u of all cannot stand in my way

i noe what i am doing
u do not have to tell me this and tt
which is all absurd really
so just shut up for once and maybe LISTEN to others

bruha.

2006-06-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday:
(or was it the day before, anw watever)

just as i was about to get out of the cab,
i stretched out my hand containing my fare and offered e decent looking cabbie
then he broke off
asked me a myriad of things
and kept rattling on for a while
then he finally asked for e fare
which had run up 20 cents more
and pretended as if i was going to pay tt amount he had clearly tried to gain illegally by talking
TMD!
i gave him 5.10
wishing to get back 2 bucks, and not the 1.80 he had wished in his f*cking mind
but hell he had the cheek to give me just tt
NOT SHY AT ALL!
but nvm
i see him little worthy of my presence
so i told him nicely'
"uncle, u make me talk and talk the meter running up xtra 20 cents. a bit jian right?"
he feigns ignorance and says"oh is it? i give u back 10 cents."
KNN
ten blessed cents!
its twenty you dimwit neanderthal!!
so then i just stormed outta the cab and lovingly smashed the door back into place with a crisp loud crack.

son of a _ _ _ _ _ (cure female canines)!

if ever i see you again
i'll make sure u rmb our last encounter
sumpa.

on another note
i guess this world is really quite biased
esp towards e high and mighty per se
read : houte couture.
only 2 other ppl will noe what i'm talking about
but ya
its not right?

i still hope you'd one day realise all this
and that too
i'm still wishing...
hoping...
make my day.

2006-05-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

at long last

i finally found the song i'd always wanted to know
the touching song that was played at sJi graduation
when our parents opened our letters to them
gosh

Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been to long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.

-The Rose
LeAnn Rimes

2006-05-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

i just had this sudden feeling
loneliness
solitude

i feel alone
i don't know why where when what how
i just do

everything's swirling in my head

when i need you most...

2006-05-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

okay so here's my take on things

i tink things can't be simply compared like that
circumstances are different
others are more established so they got the headstart
and sadly monopolize most of the available fields of competition
yet still its nvr as simple as tt

each has their own priorities and objectives, and must take into consideration the calibre of talent each attracts
and the circumstances under which each operates under
in many respects not every one or thing can be as ideal as thought possible
or rather,
nothing can have the same achievements of another

i'm not making excuses
i'm not denying the facts or truths or watever
i'm just making my case in point

for us
the things we had to work under
the possibilities we could have or could not achieve
were things beyond our realm of influence
granted
and i acknowledge this
that we too did not fulfil the promises that were written all over us when we bore the yoke
yet things r not as simple as that
others have the ability to do varied things due to their predispostition
all of them in fact
and we too have a disposition of some sort
yet one which is less magnificent to the commercial eye
they have the confidence to do that cos they are able to juggle it all at once
we have to work just that much harder to even get a sniff at what level they are operating at.
so see the stars do not favour us

we are but in the budding stages of a catalysed revolution of change
one that will hopefully produce a world not far from what we have in mind
yet these things take time
and no matter how much a group of people try to do
time takes things into her hands and wills them when she tinks they are ready for the great reveal
we just have to make that step up to keep it going

for me i nvr live for the past
i live because of my past
and i appreciate that
but eventually i'm looking ahead to what beholds me.

i like to think that i'll make such a situation for me the best possible one
cos i believe that i'm not there by accident
no i'm there cos i'm meant to be there
i just have to find out what for
and go on form there

i must say
not for the first time
tt this phase has left me pretty much not too much further from where i started off from
in that respect
i noe that
yet i cannot imagine being anywhere else
i've embraced this place

and gave it a shot at times
which may not have been sufficient
yet i have complete faith in my abilities
this has been an experience in itself
despite not the one i had hoped and dreamed for
will definitely shape me in good stead for the future

i guess now i'm in this reflective mood sort of thing
i'll just keep going

that i'm glad i've come here
and i thank god for the people i've encountered
be it for the first time
or for a continued stint
these people
will long live in my heart
for the lasting imprints they have carved into it
for the times they touched me
for everything
under the sun moon and stars
i guess you can say that yes
i LOVE them

i'm real sorry that you think of things that way though
cos i nvr wanted to succumb to the notion of 'could have been's
and i appreciate that for your aspirations and all
from where you come from,
which i honestly cede that i do not fully grasp,
from how you came here and all
from being here and what you've experienced and all
you've have had some tough things to sort out
and after you have
you come to think of it as such
its a real pity i think
though it'll be real selfish of me just to be concerning myself with what i think

i'm sorry that maybe things didnt work out the way you had wanted
the place where you had wanted to go
that you might rather be with them than us
and i don't really blame you for it
cos things can really look and get ugly here
i hope things will go better for you soon

i guess everyone just has one's own demons to conquer
and how we go about doing it(and its outcome)
will have a certain bearing on our future
for better or worse

i just have to say though that i'm grateful for my life nomatterwhat
LIFE. isnt God amazing/

2006-05-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

friday:
have to thank mark p for helping me up and down e stairs afteri suay suay sprained my ankle.
and iggy for e dressing
and jonny for e ice
and everyone else for e concern

THANK YOU

arts week concert:
erm its for charity right?
or e needy students fund or something?
so i guess i'll count it as a charitable act on my part to support local productions of such kind
(piano piano piano singing piano piano piano and more piano)
as mark p said: e best song was e sch song! =]
anw its pretty sad and irritating at the same time tt people do not noe how to conduct themselves at public performances.
chatting LOUDLY throughout the thing
and still can retaliate
tsk tsk
tragic.

talked lotsa kok at mac's at toa payoh
"they always got something on one. don't want to share. everyday in the market lelong sell fish." - yours truLy

got everyone in fits laughing
with mark p having to resort to laughing OUTSIDE mac's cos he couldn't take it
haha tt was fun
not saying i'm a very funny guy and all but
it was fun
=D

watford got promoted. yAys.
for some reason i supported them rather than leeds in e playoffs.

anw i'd be absolutely GUTTED should ruud van nistelrooy join chelsea.
or even another premiership club.
going by the rumours tt's going on
er..
i'd have nothing much to say
'xcept it turned out to be a sad ending for everyone.
very sad.
still hope it'll turn out good?
if there's still any worth in tt/

i hope alex ferguson noes what he's doing with the situation.
can't afford to lose much ground anymore now tt this chelsea side is steamrolling its way ahead further with ludicrous signings and pay rises. and they better not get shevchenko.
else it'll be G.G. for e WHOLE world. sian all over again.

i still pity the fact tt man utd didn't sign van der sar when he was available from juventus.
pity.
tt was quite short-sighted.
hope he still plays on for a couple of years tho.

after rambling bout random soccer thoughts
back to my gp compre

F*CK YOU

2006-05-18T18:34:00.000+08:00

FOR THE LAST TIME A**HOLE.

YOU ARE THE MOST EGOCENTRIC NARCISSIST I'VE EVER KNOWN
AND TT'S NO COMPLEMENT
U SELFISH DEVIL

HAVE THE DECENCY TO ASK AND NOT SNATCH THINGS TT DON'T BELONG TO YOU
AND BEING SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS AS TO ACT AS IF YOU OWN IT
TT ITS ONLY A SMALL MATTER
WELL ITS NOT

F*CK OFF U DIRTY B*ST*RD

DONT U DARE COME AND INVADE AGAIN
AND GIVE ME SOME LAME EXCUSE AGAIN

JUST ASK DAMN IT

BESIDES

TO YOU EVERYTHING IS ONLY FACE VALUE
A CHAIR IS A CHAIR
A SHIRT IS A SHIRT
A SHOE IS A SHOE

WAT ABOUT THE LATENT VALUE TT YOUR MYOPIC PERSPECTIVE CAN'T SEE??
SOMETHING CALLED SENTIMENT
MEMORIES
ITS NOT JUST ABOUT RETURNING IT IN TIP TOP CONDITION
TT U USE IT AS A SORRY WAY TO CLAIM A RIGHT TO UTILISE IT
WITHOUT A HINT OF REMORSE
OR EMBARASSMENT
OR SHAME
OR EXPLAINING THINGS
U UNFEELING BRUTE

TT'S MY BLESSED NAME!
NOT YOURS
SO DON'T GO AROUND WITH TT AIR OF INVINCIBILITY WITH IT
COS IT BELONGS TO ME AND NO ONE ELSE

I MAY NOT BE MAKING MUCH SENSE IN TERMS OF GENERAL READER-WORTHINESS OF THIS ENTRY
BUT SORRY
AS LONG AS I MYSEF KNOW
TT'S AS GOOD A REASON FOR ME TO CREATE IT

YOU WILL NOT MESS WITH ME
EVER AGAIN

F*CK YOU AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT
YOU HAVE CAUSED ENOUGH MAYHEM HERE
GO SCREW YOURSELF ELSEWHERE
AND LEAVE US ALONE

YOU AND YOUR PIG FRIENDS AND DOG PALS/.
NONE OF WHICH, YOU INCLUSIVE, ARE ANYTHING NEAR DECENT.

something nice for a change...

2006-05-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

so for once i blog about something nice
this on thursday. 110506. CJC sports carnival

initially was stunned when i found out our class jersey was e same as t32's. and t09's. but it don't matter. i thought ours looked replendid in gold lettering.=)

on the bus actually i found out more classes had e same FBT jersey as well : t08, t18, t7. tt makes 6 classes. haha

anw morning assembly was weird. morning prayer in particular. the cordless mike was pretty laggy to say the least. so when i thought how come jean was reading the thing so slowly, i wasnt any better. sounded like a retard, but haha i guess no one would have minded anw.

so then the thing was started. track events first. it was pretty nice to see all of us classmates wearing our class jersey which we din have last year, and all the names printed. wat with young, dumb, jaaskelainen to name a few. hah and not forgetting the b*tch 5. even mrs tai was in the jersey. so our class didn't do too bad for e track events. good to see our junior class enthusiastic and all. we almost made it to the podium for e 4X100 guys. pipped for fourth. good nonetheless.

the real crunch came during the games. at captain's ball, it was one of e few real times our class go so together, trying to qualify from our group. our first match was quite erronous, especially the first half. i guess our first feel of the game wasnt too good. but we did come back strongly in the second half. it ended in a draw. but what pleased me the most about that first match was that everyone was up for the challenge after tt. we had a team talk, tactics and watever. team spirit was certainly on the rise. and it was nice to be interacting with our junior class as well. receiving news that netball was doing good.

in the second match, we were much more organised, with better passing and all. strategy was working. had a memorable van-der-sar inspired moment towards the end of my half which really lifted our team and got us all fired up. however at the end of it we failed to qualify from the group stages via an inferior to eventual champions t20.

the whole gang then went to support our netball team, which we heard were romping their way along. tiff-o-ny totally owned with her 99.9% accuracy shooting. the whole team played exceptional and exhilirating passing and cohesion. a truly magnificent line up. then volumes were raised again in the final with t32, where we were with 33 all the way. we ran out deserved champions 7-2. it was a real good feeling in the camp when we won the match. almost like winning the champions league or something. ok maybe something less but stil we were very proud of ourselves. then we had this weird thing at e end when kenny was squatting in the middle, everyone else from 33 with our hands in the centre and then cheered our victory, with tif-o-ny spraying some water into the circle as if some kind of ritual. haha weird but fun.

back in the hall, the mood was good after winning the netball final. we joined up with our junior class and roared when they announced our victory as netball champs. soon after they annnounced the 2nd placed class in the sports carnival while kenny was still distributing the medals to the netball team. it took him a while to hear our calls for him to claim our trophy, while we were as pleasantly surprised as he was. a truly memorable way to end a remarkable day!

after tt we took loads of pics. victory poses and the works.
i really felt a great sense of acievement. not only cos we won some prizes in the sports carnival, but also the way we got together, both senior and junior classes, in cheering our teams on and in playing as one. don't think i did it much justice here in trying to describe it but it was a real warm and fuzzy feeling that i havent felt much in my time in jc. and in light of the fact that everything was slowly but surely coming to an end for us j2s, it was great to get such wonderful memories to take away from it all.

after the thing ended, for the first time ever, the WHOLE class went out together for the first time in the history of this world for lunch, save a couple of absentees. it took us quite a while to decide where to eat, and by then i couldnt join them for lunch at pizza hut, but still it was real nice.

it may have took us a while to get all along, but it certainly is worth it, as displayed in this sports carnival. absolutely BRILLIANT! i totally enjoyed it, and am so very proud of my class and our junior class, whom we all acknowledge have a great future ahead of them. such an amazing bunch they are!

nice enough?

2006-03-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

i kinda noticed tt my posts seem to perpetually have this melancholic theme to it
and trust me, its not cos i'm a v negative person
in fact, i like to think i enjoy life
no matter how crap it gets
though crap it real got recently
i guess its just that i dun see the need to blog if its really nice and all
only when i need to rant then this comes into utility

firstly
its not working out how we thought it would
although its not quite as bad
but it is nonetheless bad still
causes trauma amongst the community.
there's no trust
no discipline
no respect
no integrity

and no maturity despite the age
using the past mistakes of others as a license to trod the same undesirable path
how irresponsible
despite my respect for the display of wisdom,
i still insist
grow up ya?

on another note
it was probably doomed right from the start
the foundation non existant
tt inevitably leads to the ending i can see in the near distant future
the cause?
no commitment
no responsibility
no concrete system
no initiative
no action
no sacrifice
no pride
no humility
not accomodating
no everything
not anything

yup tt's about it
still i make the most of it as much as i can
i can onlypray
anw its in this particular scope i had earlier wished to conc. on

here's an advanced note tho
thanx for e many memories
good bad ugly
sugar spice
naughty or nice
watever
it was an experience i'm sure i can draw from

no es amor.

on the midnight train

_____

shoutouts:
[yen, LiNus] thanx for e concern. i'm fine i swear. don't you tink i'm a happy guy?

[fuzz] yo fren//

2006-03-01T15:43:00.000+08:00

n* b**

damn auntie who langa us from behind this morning. how could you have passed ur driving when u floor e accelerator pedal thinking it was e brake?!? gah/. this entry would have been even more angry. but no. i'm starting my 40 day spiritual sabbatical.

so tt was morning. not gonna dwell on it

chem was like ____
blanked out
totally

i nvr knew mcq could be so tough
literally tikam up to 70% of e questions

then came paper 2
at first i thought it was pretty fine
i could do most of e qns in front (though not necc correctly but still i thought i could do them)
which was a miracle considering i nvr touched j1 topics at all
then e got harder
damn organic
how to rmb so much stuff
all jumbled up in my head
totally no clue wat to write
esp qn 6
wahw!
tio own
G.G.
looks like i'm on my way to failing CTs w/ record lowest score ever
wat a legacy =

haha e worst is yet to come
there's still ECONS
omigad econs
so far..
all i've done is... free trade
well done
another record perhaps?

anw collected CL results
i din feel anxious or watever like my friends did
guess i really dont give a damn bout it anymore
i know i wouldnt fail it
yet a B4 looks disappointing to me
a 3 would be nice
jus like me Os
but then again
i wasnt as prepared for this as tt so ya
just desserts received

congrats to edwin tho
my gawd an A1 + distinction in oraL
haha dreams come true then

now i'm at home
supposed to be hitting at econs full steam
(there's still maths to come, which is always e disappointment for me)
yet i fell so sleepy
weather so hot
how to study

nvm rmb e spiritual sabbatical promise
must keep
and persist
and continue

in a way i like CTs
cos we get to go home early
and have a day off or two every now and then

ok now i'll try and study.

2006-02-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

wols.
ignorant.
nay, apathetic
indifferent
naive.

is that wat it is now.
i remind myself of tt dreaded britney spears song
gah
life's never tt straighforward

makes me really wonder why this is always the case tho
is there something i'm not doing
or is there something i'm doing tt's prpeventing me from receiving all these
or both
or none
or watever

and a thought actually just occured to me
like is it cos they think i'm detatched from e world
tt there's no point for me to be included everytime
tt they run off in whispers

everyone seems like __
yet then again i guess its probably more superficial than i tink.
just when i thought things were up
on the up

why do i care anw
no one seems to take me seriously
no one thinks i'm worthy to be taken note of
no one quite respects me

come to think of it
i'm not a very wise investor
i pour my heart and soul into things and ppl and watever
thinking it'll all be worth the while
but without explicitly expressing deep regret
it has kinda fallen short of my expectations
which i feel ain't tt sky high
when has anything paid off for me

but then again,
its alright to be unfair to geraldson
don't lose sleep over it;
its only geraldson

i can only hope to deserve better

and not tt i'm not cherishing e ppl i have around me now
i'm really sorry if this offends any of u
i just ask u understand where i'm coming from
its not quite comfortable here.

maybe a little more wisdom and whatever else i need would come my way
and bail me from this misery.

ah screww
CTs in less than 12 hrs time
here i am ranting abt my life
jus about sums up everything don't ya think.

Man Utd better win the Carling Cup
if not i'll have no mood for CTs anymore whatsover,
whatever's left of it since i'm probably gonna flop anw

fcuk

2006-02-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

today was badddd.

wayy bad.
and tt just barely scratches the surface of things

took my medicine as usual, confident tt my morning nasal condition would disappear within minutes. by the time i was in the prayer room for morning mass my hanky was almost totally occupied by my nose clearing itself into it. and to this i would routinely say "have a HEALTHY week ahead" seeing tt i myself aint tt hale.

right then.
morning still wasnt too bad
chem lect i was totally awake. for one of e few times of my life.
partly because initially the air con wasnt working for like 10 mins
and it was HOT like HELL
but then after tt when it came on it was pretty fine

then was pe
played handball
got one of those spherical orange projectiles shot straight into my face when i called for a pass
and tt like totally smashed my specs out of shape.
i must admit i was pretty frustrated and gutted.
had to go the rest of the day pretending i wore contacts
then things went down from there

my mood was bad liao
then i like dao-ed thousands of my friends (Sorry dudes)
partly cos i was fatigued as in shagged out and my body was totally uncooperative
then was the non-ideal mood
and ta-da!
you get a black face geraldson

then somehow i started feeling as if my body was physically there but i somehow wasnt
i was stone-y
totally spaced out
bordering vegetative status

during gp tutorial
there was this debate thing about political systems
and since i wasnt invoved
tt totally didn t help my situation
i slumped in my chair
stared down
randomly picking spots to focus on
the crack on the floor
the blemish on my skin
th crease on my uniform
then mrs labrooy went like "geraldson!!"

damn

tt was when i realised i was asleep?
gosh when did tt happen

totally stone

then econs lect
fell asleep as soon as i settled into my chair
not as if its anything unusual nowadays
but today was different
it didnt feel right
my body is like degenerating
going..
going..

someday soon i wont be surprised to see mself being treated with depression or breakdown, like physically or watever

its all going bad for me now

CTs are in 7 days
i am so not prepared
hardly had my revision kicked into gear
or anything tt resembled it
and there's so much to cover
even an 'O' grade seems pretty daunting now
and tt's not even talking bout econs yet

and how am i supossed to even have time to study
oday banner painting after rockafella rehearsals
which were awful
my fingers kept slipping from e drumstix
and i couldnt get my fills right
then again i tink today wasnt too good for everyone either

right then will still homework to do
where' got time to revise

gahh

i hope this phase blows over real soon
cos frankly speaking i'm at my tethers at the moment
even sleep doesnt seem to help
though its good to clock in a healthy numer

i need a breakthrough
somehow

anw again i apologise to everyone i've encountered today
for being so anal and bastardy and kao bei and irritating and downright absurd.
they say every dog has its day
maybe today is a dog day for me
a bad ass dog day

let's all hope tml is a better day

2006-02-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

Something has to give.

that, is the harsh reality of life
for me at least

my life is in a mess
from the smallest to the most important things

all e documents in my computer are like stored everywhere
not classified
a mess!

my life is shit
can't find time to do anything i hope to
even studying!
gah
no life.

its all about sleeping in lectures, stoning at tutorials, meetings upon meetings after sch, the long and embarrasing ride home where i fall asleep standing on e mrt(go figure!) reaching home and having to do stuff if not for orientation then CA music then something else. at the very most there's hw to try and scrape through. and then afer bathing its the end of another blasted day.

the next day the whole thing starts all over again. even weekends arent any lay off either. there' facil training, etc. no time. only 24 hours a day

like what ms koh said, " it doenst mean that just because you join council you get 25 hours a day"

i wont say i regret it but it certainly is taking its taxing toll on me, as i'm sure on almost everyone else.

then there's my temper. for a period of time previously, i had thought that i had learnt to control my temperament and be calm and collected and all. the past few weeks have just demonstrated to me how fragile that control has been. i had been snapping at my parents more that all e other years combined, i had been sorely affected by the slightest of things. boy what ever happened to me

for some time now, its only within my friends that i can truly be carefree and relaxed. and i really thank GOD for that, that at least i have people around me to share all these with. i really enjoy being around my friends and all. i really do. and to my friends to whom i am referring to, i am blessed to have had known and be well acquainted with you. praise the lord, amen.

something has to give

i dunno.
i may be contradicting myself
but sometimes i aslo wonder
how much of a friend do they take me for
despite their repeated assurances
of us being close and all
reminds me of desperate housewives
good friends who keep secrets from each other
and significant ones at that.
gosh
to have me find out things thru much more unpleasant media
rather than straight from them
am i over reacting
or wat else can it be
leads me back to wonder how much the friendship was worth
am i just a dispensible utility
to shun away when push comes to shove
wish it has nothing to do with my personal status
things i have no power to determine
beyond this point; lies a thousand mysteries
wish i could say i wish these ppl the best
someday i may just do tt
but not now. not quite

i think i may have a heredatory condition
thinking too much
or rather
dwelling on things too much
some of which do not justify the attention shown

its all so messed up don;t ya think
just the point i wanted to put across

i want all these to stop
and resume my normal self
which, without being too thick-skinned
is pretty impressive to behold
i think

things arent looking up for e future though
there's this big ass thing called orientation 2
of which i am having to be much more involved
with indoor games
other preparation (banner painting!)
house stuff (mama loves MAMBA!)
all these in the midst of CTs and preparing for it
oh,
hold on a minute
what CTs?
fail this one
be condemmed for the whole of Term 2 until i redeem myself during mid-years (hopefully)

okie now its another relentless week ahead
c'mon where're e hols?
if i even can get to rest then.

grow up.

2006-01-08T02:01:00.000+08:00

i stopped blogging after a while cos it just lost its novelty. then there was this blog craze thing which i thought was grossly overrated. not cool.

now i have things to say. lots of them. and i dont care anymore. i'll put whatever i want HERE.

DREAM vs REALITY

i think its fair to say that everyone has their own dreams and aspirations. and i'm not only talking about what they want to become in the future; but also what they want. and i think its a very healthy thing to have. it is in these dreams that people are empowered to push their limits and strive for whatever they believe in. and it has been well proven throughout the course of our human existence. so they say -- begin with the end in mind. that's how we have people who are identified as being goal-driven and self-motivated. its because they know what they want and that they want it badly that they would do everything they can to fulfil those dreams. i think this is a really very powerful thing to have. it gives us direction in life. it gives us the sense of achievement that comes when we fulfil it. it gives our life added meaning.

there is of course, a flipside. the cons. when people are blinded and so awed by what they want to achieve that they fail to distinguish the line between reality and fantasy. their dreams are so extravagant that it is really not wise to pursue them. yet they carry on relentlessly. foolish hearts they have. then comes the obsession.

maybe i'm not doing very well trying to make my point across.

some things that we have now, are perhaps rightfully ours. those that we SHOULD get no matter what. its our perogative. like life. everyone has the right to live. its not a luxury. no one can take it away from us. dignity is another example.

however there are things that we are blessed with and should be thankful for. these should not be confused with those that we should rightfully have. generally these would be the material stuff.

it really turns me off when people who don't even show the slightest hint of appreciation at what they have been already abundantly blessed with keep wanting more and thinks its a divine right of theirs to have them. worst of all, they make everyone suffer when they dont get it at once. losers.

so its teenage years and they're growing up. they wanna have fun. they wanna enjoy them, especially nearing the end of them. still that does not give them the license to think that they SHOULD get it anyhow.

listen up and look around you.
no actually not just there
look there wayy beyond that distorted circle of friends of yours.

not everyone your age has everything you have; and this is not only about your blessed belongings. the liberty, respect and faith that people have in you, that you have yet to even think of repaying back. then on you go, "from strength to strength", asking for bigger and more ridiculous things. what you have now isn't a right. its a blessing. at the very least show some gratitude. instead though, you pile on the misery by cries for 'MORE', 'MORE'.

oh, pardon me. it wasn't just wanting more. its wrecking everything and everyone till you think you'll get it. and still claim that you don't ask for much. just this one for e last of my teenage years, you wail. not working anymore dude.

so you can't have people get it for you. but ok this time, don't look too far. the mirror would do fine. look at yourself. you keep asking for all these things, yet you scarcely deserve any of them given what you have done to EARN them. no easy money dude. no easy money.

its just damn retarded isn't it. you don't do anything to help, that's bad enough. yet you make things difficult and still have the cheek to ask and ask and ask.

_

and you people, who come and treat my place like a hotel. FUCK YOU and show others some respect. the same respect that has been so generously heaped upon you by not turning you away like you should have been eons ago. i don't care whether you may like it to be so at yours, but here you have no say. you may be guests, but the hospitality that you have been received with is not for you fucktards to abuse. step over the line one more time and i swear you'll regret having to see the nasty me.

_

other than that, i'm realy looking forward to this new year. new year new beginning and a new skin to match. i'm starting to feel it already. great!

2005-06-22T04:43:00.000+08:00

sJimb proudly presents,
RENAISSANCE XV
JULY 8 & 9
1930 hrs
SJI PAC
tix @ $10 each
contact me now! =D for tix and detaiLs ya.

right then.
its been so so long since i last updated.

firstly thanx to those who've tagged while i was on unofficial hiatus
yeah guess i'm still working on updating and replying ur tags . =X

anw lots and lots of things have happened since april
more than two months ago

i guess right now
even though with all these things happening around me
i still dun feel too settled and stuff
like some of u might noe
i've always mentioned tt i'm still trying to find myself this time of my life
watever tt might mean
i just have to rediscover myself again
so then i'd noe what i'm doing..... blah
well anw
though things have become better somewhat
i reckon it'll still be a hell long more to go
before i can finally trod on familiar ground once more
yeah blah blah blah
though i've been talking bout this for like so many many times
i cant help but feel this way every once in a while
like watever lar..
i guess when its my time again i'll noe in due time

yeah anw
aside from these reflective stuff
its like crunch time
mid years are like so near
revision's a mess
how?
hha

maybe i'll find another time to ramble about this again
i just wonder...
wat happened?

bLah

anw i tink i'll go catch some sleep now
tink e hols totally screwed up my bio cock
like i wake up in e afternoon and sleep in e morning
as if on graveyard shift

anw before ppL hamtam me for isolating my blog again
i SAY 1st
i'll be on HIATUS til mid years are over

hehe yup
k so till then.
adios. . .

2005-04-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

Hands To Heaven
-Christian Bautista

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight I need your sweet caress,
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness,
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight I need your sweet caress,
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness,
You relieve my sadness

Tonight I need your sweet caress,
Hold me inthe darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness,
You relieve my sadness

Morning has come another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...
Goodbye...

Tonight I need your sweet caress,
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness,
You relieve my sadness

Tonight I need your sweet caress,
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness,
You relieve my sadness

~

i adore this song
seriously
ask me why.

anw i'm like panting for breath
i cant seem to find time for myself
gosh
i wonder how long more do i have to go on like this

yeah and tml time table's changing again
it better be good
i dunno why tt guy's got nothing better to do
than shift e time tables EVERY week
crap

anw i still lurrve this song.

divine.

2005-04-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

i seriously need to recuperate
somehow

i am a far far far paler hue of what i had been
i havent recovered
i dunno what happened exactly
but whatever it is
i really need to be back on my feet again
i simply cannot continue like this
i'm destroying myself

tell me
how
how do i soar again
and though i'm not expecting as great a result
it has to be better than this now
how do i regain my frame of mind

i really really need to think
think long and hard
lots and lots of things to think about
i hope i get an answer in time

i pray to be shown the Light
to guide me
and to inspire me to go on summore.
-amen.-

down. not yet out.

2005-04-10T02:02:00.000+08:00

from epl matches i've watched of late
i feel that referees seriously need to be more consistent
like for e first half
referees should assert their authority on the pitch
they shouldnt jus let the players run over them

take for exapmle the soon-ending norwich vs man u match
this player from norwich easily chalked up like 7 fouls
and he never ever got a card
like wth
screw e referee
and there are other players as well who take advantage of this soft stance taken by the man in black
and they never got anything more than a word from the same guy

and then after the interval
the referee start brandishing his yellow cards at every tackle e crowd makes noise about
but chooses to ignore blatant fouls commited under his nose
and what about the handballs tt happen ever so often
how lowly their sense of justice and steadfastness

referees can help make or break a team
as in they influence the outcome of the match
no matter how small tt influence may be
cos they set the tone and in a way decide the flow of the game
so if u get a faggoty referee
then woe betide the teams playing under this guy

okie so now e match has just ended
and norwich has magnificently overcome manchester united 2-0
and i do agree that norwich has portrayed immense sense of purpose and determination in this match
as they continue in their seemingly hopeless cause to escape relegation to the championship once again
but really i'm not too pleased about the fact tt they were let off the hook so leniently by the ref
they committed so many fouls
and yet the only reason why their team picked up yellow cards was
1) mckenzie taking off his shirt in celebration of the second goal
2) bentley cutting in at the spat between heinze and mckenzie

ridiculous

okie about man u
i get jittery when the hosts of the espn pre-match show thingy
point out that man u or any other team are too good for another
cos time after time it has been proven
tt it does not work that way
this was the second or even third time they said tt about man u
vs crystal palace
vs blackburn

then comes this thing
like e past few matches i've watched man u play
they nvr scored or won
so like i was really considering whether to give this match a miss
cos wait they get a dismal result again
tragedy.

now with something more concrete
i dont really support sir alex's policy
of resting his top strikers vs seemingly lesser teams
for one, even they havent been too good at scoring vs others
and for another
i just feel tt u should build on the momentum tt ur team has created
from e preceeding matches
and not keep making frequent changes to ur line up
then the team dynamics arent quite the same
and i feel that gives ur opposing team summore added ammunition
furthermore
in the end
they come off the bench
and fail to salvage the situation
i mean for such an experienced manager such as he is
shouldnt he know better
and its not as if this is the first time he's done it
its been done before
and failed, mind u
as far as i noe tt is
especially with the recent dry spell man u are facing

and yes i feel not only tt
they are pretty down on their luck of late
like they hold the majority of the possession
and play wonderfully
and create tons of chances
and shoot a hell lot
yet they just cant seem to find the back of the net
either it hits the posts or crossbar
or for some other unfortunate reason they just cant seem to do it
obviously they're gg thru a pretty rough patch
now even second place is highly doubtful

anw like what one of the hosts said
u jus cant let ur guard down in the premiership
cos u nvr noe what;s gonna happen
furthermore
as this match has clearly illustrated
complacency ain't gonna help u a single bit
nuh uh.

anw haha this is perhaps one of the more unique posts i've put up
but i guess all these we can relate largely to our lives
pretty explicitly too

but guess i really have to give it to norwich this one
for overcoming such odds

hopefully though
man u can still emerge from this current slump in form
and go on to salvage their largely frustrating season
and perhaps to some of us out there too
who may be facing a slump now
that we may pick up the pieces and rise up to our former glory
yupp

- naiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka nya -

update.

2005-04-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

okie.
they say i need an update
so i shall

sch's not fantastic
like for chem..
i'm uber laggin
dunno what's going on for e past few topics!!
since AMS!
go figure!

math aint any better
i conveniently forgot all my 1st 3 months stuff
and like i have no clue what e new topic is about

a reason for these:
i'm always sleeping during lectures
i dunno why
i find lecture theatres exceptionally conducive for sleeping
lights are dimmed at e front
air is cooL
surrounded and camouflaged with so many ppL
*zzZZZZzz*
oh if i might add,
lecturers......
not e most interesting ppL on e planet
not tt tt's an excuse

oh did i mention
how irritating it sometimes is
like since sch started
we've had 3 diff timetables
i mean like
i dun see e point
they've changed e time table every week
its v irritating
for e lack of a better word
makes it real diff to accomplish what i want to
and like e newest one even writes 'april 2005 DRAFT timetable'
wtf
gah

anw.
i go to sch
looking forward to e weekend
thinking i can take a breather
and like chill
and catch up

but noooooo
i always seem to have something on on weekends as well
like zao chu wan gui
siannz
though for some of these things
i would gladly and readily go anytime
but haiZ
still no rest
wat's e point

gotta change
attitude
time management
and i seriously need to think hard
about it
i pray i can only do what i accomplished before

okie well.
had e ex-1t33 outing on wed
joined e rest to eat sushi
damn full!
it seriously was nice to see some of them again
and when we bade farewell
like it was so nostalgic
hmm...

anw u notice i dun elaborate much
tt's cos i'm can t be bothered
i seem to be so full of things
it disgusts me

-have faith,
cos i have faith in you.-

shoutouts

[kat] okie hi nice day. no i will not go and have fun with rapunzel. and i'm pretty cooL don't you tink? ;)

[anna] mine aint any better. how come e econs teachers all like old ppl one.

[yen] heyy!! haha moi lee's mum!!! she's got it goin' on! =D

[zach] i dun particularly feel it was tt amusing =X

[caiye] haha okie. tc in jj

[yen] there u go!

[fuzz] wahh now then u read ar.. a bit e lag. hha

[binni] heyys!! nice to hear from u yeah.. cya around! =D

- naiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka nya -

2005-03-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

okie jus a quick summary of wat happend e past week

[mon]
got new classes.
and i'm in 1t33 again
but this time i notice it was swarmed with e ex-1t34 ppl
mostly cos my class ppl not all take same combi
anws kind of weird to be in 1t33 again
with a whole new bunch of diff ppl
wonder how it would turn out.

[tue]
sentosa day!
supposed to go sentosa play games
but as soon as we reached siloso beach it started raining
then it got heavier and heavier
till we jus sat in e sapphire hall and stoned e hours away
thn they decided to have house meeting there
then some classes played captain's ball
blah it was seriously dreadful in tt hall of stone.
then e rain cleared and then we played beach games 1st
then amazing race after tt
actually i've got lots to say about how i felt and all
no mood

[wed]
finale night (or day)
really enjoyed e skits and all (most of them...)
with e indian mama and fah-hyyyyy
damn funny
basically quite good lar

[today]
suay suay suay
morning kenna late
cos for some hell forsaken reason
two effing 851 nvr even stop at e bus stop
cos they were too full
so i resorted to taking 3 buses tt would take e same route instead of two to sch
then in one of e buses
cos it was damn packed
like u could almost see e bus exploding at e sides
there was this biatch behind me
who farking insisted on moving to e rear of e bus
when it was virtually impossible to do so
cos like ppl were already so tightly packed
like really touching each other everywhere liao
then she still wanna go chiong as far back as possible
for what damn reason u dumb fag
jus so tt she could show she was a good citizen
f*ck off!!!
so i was forced to squeeze my way thru these already irritated ppl in e bus
and then there this b*tch pushing me along
i mean
what e lanjiao is ur f****** problem manx
disgusting piece of shit
i should have elbowed her when i could
but no
conscience got e better of me
unlike this wh*re whose cow sense seriously doesnt endear her to anyone sane in this world

then when i reached sch
this was e conv i had with e teacher catching all latecomers

teacher : come here, why are you late/
me: see, i missed two buses cos they nvr stop at e bus stop cos they were too full.
teacher: why couldn't you come earlier
me: (irritated, like hello?!?!?!) i was at e bus stop at my usual time and would reach sch normally by 0720. dunno why today e buses are so full. then there was this mega jam at amk so i was late.
teacher: where u live
me: yio chu kang
teacher: (so skeptically. like she jus wants to screw all e late ppL) so obviously ur usual time is not good enough lar!
me:(EFF you!!!! i wanted to say like hello?? if i can come punctually all e time except today at my usual time.. wth is wrong with ur lard-laden head?!?!?!) i wasnt expecting today to be like tt.. normally i can even get a seat in e bus one. its not normal

then she bitched summore about this being my lsat time blah blah
screw yew
i seriously dunno wat's wrong with these ppl
so bitter and ignorant
woe e ppl who come across them
and yes to the two b*tches who spoiled my morning
F_CK TO YOU!

more suay kenna rapunzeL for chem again
and then econs most prob some old man
or this wimpy grasshopper lady
shit to e rest of my cJ life

what a glorious way to start e day.

in loving memory.

2005-03-27T02:27:00.000+08:00

okie here's my promised dedications to 1t33 @ cJc.

before i start tho.
must add tt when i read all ur dedications to one another..
its all so touching and ever more emphasizes e fact tt we're all kinda separated now.
didn't think i'd be so attatched to e class at first but well
i'm wrong(again! wat's new, grs?)
hha anw will miss u peeps
kaes here goes

[the famed Lazy four(4)!]
consisting of jolene, jiaqian, may, angeline
arguably e most united faction of 1t33!
they do EVERYTHING together.
pon.eat.sleep.shop.slack.watever!
okie so legend has it tt our dear commando-like pe teacher jason liu gave them this descriminatory label for aways slacking around during pe..
lagging like snails during warm-ups..
and always choosing not to play games when given e choice
they'd rather slack and talk cock.
or pon.
whichever suits their mood.
anw they are so darn united until they all can pon sch on e same day without even prior planning talk about coincidence.
telepathy more likely.
anw must give it to these gals
for being such great pals
not everyone can make such great friends in 2 months?
okie individual evaluation. LoLs.

[jiaqian] the ring leader of this notoriously sloth-like, whine-aholic gang.
tink she landed in my IG earlier
but then again
IGs dun really bond or watever
okie so anw this one's a real flower pot
hha okie not really
very girlish in behaviour and speech and all
with all her shrieks and whinnings and tt 'hmmh!' she gives as she turns her head away from you and pokes her nose high in the air to reject watever u have to say.
but she's v nice and sweet and like offers help to do watever
like helping me to bring my chem stuff to e LT (i rmbed okie!)
very nice and easy to suan one =p
oh and she's like taken!
haha e noisy wife, love interest, romance, of defence-unsavvy NICKY!
and they make a good pair!
tt's one thing tt'll nvr be forgotten

[jolene]i thought she was quite lian when i first saw her
but then got to learn she was actually damn talkative one
and she likes to laugh
and crap
and do all e stuff together with e Lazy 4
and she's quite bo chap one
haha and she's rapunzel's most hated student!(i tink)
poor thing.

[may]she's actually 18 liao!
but still so innocent and baby-faced!
pure... not!
she's atually damn bad one
always wanting to pon this pon tt
dun care bout almost everything also.
haiyo.
and she whines and whines
wonder how keyang takes it lar
haha but well some ppl actually like it lor..
oh and she's got this scandalous romance too (kinda like nicky and jq)
haha but not so well known
they're known as M & M!!
melts in ur mouth, not in ur hands!!

[angeline]she seems damn guai at first
like demure and conservative and shy and all these good girl things
but she does not exactly live up to tt
she is e first to propose ponning sessions
and she's also seriously damn lazy
tho i see her everytime read book one
hha
and yes rumoured to be kk's concubine

[KK] a.k.a kenneth khoo
a seiously screwed up fella
he's beyond ur chinese high stereotype
though he is seriously crazy bout mao and communism
like tt time in e library
we were supposed to look for books on china's transition economy
then he ended up picking out a book bout communists political agenda or something liddat
damn funkey!
haha
ya and he bought e hc long pants cos he doesnt wanna wear shorts
he's e main reason why anna and caiye always laugh their asses off
cos he's like damn silly
and damn comical.
they way he looks.. laughs..
and e way he imitates his physics teacher
aiyah his mannerisms.. he's damn cartoon lar
oh and he's damn smart too
though HML always tries to make life extra diff for him
he always can astound her
so she kenna jack
ya and he's like e perfect guy for caiye
heard lots of mushy tales bout him missing her so badly and wat
haha
born joker

[anna]her voice is like whoaaa
star quality dude.
damn pro singer
anw she's my fellow pinoy
she's e smarter one though
quite cool cos we can swear and curse or watever and no one will noe what we talk about
she's damn hardworking
and she's damn on also
tt's why she kenna htc
rmb tt time angel/mortal she and caiye did practically everything
jus so everyone can play along
haha
anw then she's like e conscience of e class lar
anything evil we are planning..
she'll always be like..
'ey dun lar.. wat if we get into trouble how..
do you know e consequenses'
haha so like we have a moral/spiritual director of some sort..
well. we had

[caiye]e other scholar in our class
chinese is like super pro(A1 in HCL!!!!)
well okie so she's a prc
but still
anw there'll be times during chinese class when she and our chinese teacher will like have one-on-one converations with her
okie not exactly but its like only they two noe wat's going on lar
cos e rest of us too gong to understand
anw she's also well known for this over-sized infatuation with babies
like if she see any infants around..
be it in e movies or on e street or wat
she'll be like
'eeeeyy!! so cuuutttttttteeee!!'
-.-
okie no wonder she wants to be a housewife
or was it a full time mum/
watever
then she had e class on once
when she showed us a pic of this young boy from her hometown
claims its her son
and we're all like.. 'wahh.. u so young got son liao ar'
and then i was thinking like wth
so china really tt luo hou.. and old-fashioned
still got child-marriages
oh and she says her 'hubby' was only 18
we all fell for it lar cos we knew she adored babies
haiya felt pretty dumb after e truth came out
anw she's like in denial
cos she well noes tt KK lurves this darling of his
then she still wont admit
cos she also likes him (i tink. she's always so happy with him)
so ya
another 1t33-blossomed romance

[kenneth ang] e other kenneth
e real gentleman
sweet
soft-spoken
hard-working
tt's why like so many girls are going nuts about him
and he's pretty good in bball
always with e bball gang
and always bringing drinks to class!
then got this nick for him which e girls got for him
(xiao hong!!!)
which is like e name of e female lead in turn left, turn right i tink
yup

[jonathan] also known as johnny boy!
another of e bball gang
known for his fearless attitude towards teachers
like sometimes he jus speaks his mind
and addresses e teachers in a way they dun really appreciate
must give it to him
yeah and he's like angeline liddat
any opportunity to pon then he'll be e first to rally ppl to pon also
haha
anw he's real good at bball also
and he like came up with e whole (miccrroooal) thing
funky!

[alex]gay pride
admire him for being such a good sport
and sense of direction
haha doesnt mind being branded a gay magnet or wat
and was e first in our class to x-dress
and he's another one whom HML has trouble dealing with
like stuff bout his out-of-e-bed-look hair
also fond of bball

[lip yeow] erm.. e real gay
as in homo gay
or did he say he was bi/
brainy and always has intellectual things to say
always seen with his 1t31 mates

[michael] e one whom johnny boy calls miccrrroooaaal
haha sorta got influenced to call him tt too
anw my fellow josephian
can be pretty scary when he's frustrated with maths
haha
he makes up half of M & M!!
haha i tink he sorta got influenced by indra to stone
cos he's kinda more stony now
oh and he's with into bball too

[indra]yes e famed stoner
and he's a professional
he can jus stone anytime, anywhere
then when he gets called to answer a qn..
he'll give those hilarious facial expressions
gesturing things like 'huh?'
'wat?"
'cannot hear'
'dunno'
haha damn funny
oh and he's quite a sportsman too
like he's damn pro in bball
and in soccer too
and ya its funny to see him converse with his other indon counterpart
esp during a game
cos they'll be scolding each other 'bodoh' or wat
v funny!!
haha rock on dude
no pun intended. =D

[keyang] he comes across as calm..
serene
and he's a silent killer
like he gets things done so efficiently and quietly
always does his hw
very good boy
and very sweet.. mild tempered
nvr see him angry before
very dependable
and has like damn nice handwriting
like girl one liddat!!

[kat]always kenna by HML
esp during lectures
like HML'll be talking talking
then suddenly rail or screech or watever u call it
'katreeeeeeeenaaaa!!'
poor girl always kenna for talking or sleeping or doing nothing
while e rest of us get away scot-free
anw this councillor is very sweet
although always kenna bullied
by ppl like cedric
but still can smile and all
or maybe is she act cute
haha
very nice to talk to
and a very good friend of zying

[nicky]okie his real name is nicholas
and he was exposed as jq's lover a long long time ago
cos its like he will always go to her and kachiaw her
her hair or wat
and summore he sits beside her!!
all e more obvious!
poor thing dunno how to defend himself
or his wife
haha
anw his love tale is so successful even e teachers buy it!
they agree whole-heartedly lar
haha
oh ya and since he's like jq's hubby
he's like a very close associate of e missuss' gang, e lazy four!
sometimes refered to as their sugar daddy or wat (eewWW)
haha
currently in sa enjoying blissfully peaceful moments with mrs tan.

[kelwin] e class teddy!
haha he's e trusty president of cjc food club!
okie this guy's really into food
gourmet...
hawker
u name it
he noes where to get it best
easily eats like 5 meals a deal
its a common sight to see him munching on something
like in btwn lectures he'll sneak off to canteen to buy e jap crispy chicken
then munch munch during lecture without being caught
and during break he eats like 2 servings of food
each from diff stall
and when we have class outing or wat
before, during and after we'll be perpetually bombarded by his pleas to find a place to eat
haha but then he's in pretty good shape for a guy who eats tt much
and yes he always scolds indra
'bodoh lar!'

[yen] another professional in e class
specialises in e field of intrusion of privacy!!
haha ok lar not really
but she's like a damn pro P.I.
can take photos anytime anywhere without anyone noeing!
cannot be seen separated from her handy-dandy digicam
and she has this uber infectious laughter
tt everyone will jus laugh along cos she's laughing
(RE: HML's econs lect sometime earlier this year)
anw she's also damn pro in bball
and zao s frequently with johnny
haha
oh ya e pic above is provided
courtesy of her too
*thanx~*

[cedric] professional too
in zaoing class
famed for his tummy ache excuse
allegedly had a month full of detention for tt
he's damn tall
but despite zaoing so often
he can crap and crap a lot
but it makes sense
and he always lightens up e mood of e class
good on ya!

[laura]our capable pe rep
very outspoken
rmb tt stannd off she had with kk
wahh damn pro manx
also a frequent ponner
but a v nice girl tho
crap around with me when i tried to speak in cheena chinese
and she also writes pretty formidable compos

[you wei]rapunzel's fave?
haha well seems like it cos rappy always mentions him
like 'you wei so strong'..blah
haha anw he's like good in every damn sport lar
volley..soccer.. bball
if u wanna play game must try to be on his team then will win one
haha he's also v funny
and makes funny qian bian face
and like to jack teachers, HML esp
and he's damn lame also lar
haha
oh and he has this thing against malaysians

[zying]bball can easily beat e guys hands down
(most of us lar)
and poor fella she's always on e receiving end of you wei and cedric's brutal nationalistic jokes
but always takes it in good heart
and she also doesnt really pon sch
cos malaysians e sch fees v high
so pon sch then waste money
and she damn white
rmb 1st orientation her skin wahh kenna roasted like wat
inflammed i tink
haha ok jk
anw v sweet gal who helped make e banner for me =D

okie yups i tink tt's all
so its kinda symbolic
like i dedicate this to my former class
while i get new class postings tml
oh wells..

happy easter!
=D

sound check...

2005-03-26T21:53:00.000+08:00

arrggh.

i can't hear parokya on my blog!
wat's wrong?
dunno if u guys can hear it.
fyi i'm talking bout e music tt's supposed to be playing when u visit here
and yes i agree i like e polar bears
they're damn cute.

hmm..
right anw jus here's a couple of shout-outs ..
in chronological order.

[anna] haha be nice to me then i'll give u e pic.

[caiye] is 'la mei' really tt funny? =P hehe anw well glad u rmb. and yes i did enjoy 'juan she tou'. hope u do get back to cJ. make sure i cYa there!

[anna] *confusion-confusion*. can't blame me wat. i'm confused rmb?

[kat] haha with reference to polar bears.. pls see above =D. and erm.. being kay po not so good. wat would indra think. =P

[jiaqian] heyys.. u take care too k. now u in sa can enjoy blissfully peaceful moments with mr tan!.

[mayeeeeee] hello whiner.. eeEEEeee. haha and dun bother trying to figure out who e bears in e pic are.. not too sure i really noe them...hha

[anna] erm.. okayy.. there's a FCP for u. LoLs.

[zach] liddat v long mehx.. pLs lar. hha erm.. i prefer to describe myself as sentimental.

yeah well anw.. i'm working on my 1t:33 dedications yeah.. since everyone's doing it.. wanna thank these ppL for making 1st 3 months more than bearable.

[look out for this space]

ur name may be featured here!
cooL huh?
=D

better?

2005-03-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

hmm..

erm.
i'm still unsettled.
but today did help
being back in sJi
and having a very hearty conversation with my batchmates
and jus being able to be in sJimb's presence again
good enough therapy for me
seeing my juniors again

right i seem to keep reminiscing
anytime, anywhere
these days.
hmm.
maybe cos its easter tritium (however u spell tt)
so perhaps i'm in a more reflective mood?
anyways
hopefully this easter
i'll get my much needed revelation
enlightenment
inspiration.

right so meanwhile
pray for forgiveness
pray for strength
pray for guidance
pray for peace of mind
pray for clarity of thought
pray for tt oh-so-favoured-one
and companions
pray for them

seem to be more prayerful
of late
well..
can't say it hurts or wat
in fact
it's therapeutic on its own
soothes e souL.
right.

yeah well...
let's meet again come easter?
and see what's happened since
dun be late.

=S

2005-03-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

i'm confused.

actually i dunno whether i truly am confused
cos if i am
then how would i noe i'm confused.
right e weird phenomenae of the great (rotting) pLanet earth

anw seriously
i dun noe wat to think anymore
i honestly dont

in view of the fact
this is being made public
there will be things i wont divulge.

nevertheless,
my mind's in a whirl
(ahh yes.. its been a while)
i keep getting mixed signals
so is it
or is it not?

god its so frustrating
my hair'll be worse off than luke (oops.. sorry.. no hard feelings?)

aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!

and then
another dilemma pops up ever so conveniently
kao welcome to my Life.

i find myself
a far paler hue of what i was before
tragic
i jus can't seem to believe anymore

right so
i still dunno wat to do
or think
or watever

hope salvation comes to me soon
before i end up on e brink of tt sorry state again

-pray for me.
pray with me.-

P.S. ahh yes
orientation today =(
spells B.O.R.I.N.G
x-classmates still missing each other
i kinda do too
hope we're all alright tho.

new bLog.

2005-03-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

okay got a new bLog.
yAy!~
nice new template
sweet.

hmm.
not exactly overjoyed but its a good change i guess
leaving blogdrive (bYe!~)
anw got a new urL.
ironic though
has a -ve meaning,
yet my blog seems tranquiL enough.

anw to chin jia qian a.k.a MRS NICKY TAN
here you go : update liao!

yup dun really wanna ruin e thing by blogging something not too pleasant
will do so in due time
meanwhile
my 1st post!

sch permamnently starts tml
hmm.
- hope for e future -

god bLess me.
god bLess them.
god bLess you.
god bLess us all

`aLL we need is Love`